Okay, so here’s 10 albums I really fucking loved that were released in the fine year of 2011:

Turbowolf - Turbowolf

This album is an absolute beast of a rock record. Every song is an absolute masterpiece of riffery and catchy hooks that make for a punishing yet catchy ride. It just rocks. A lot.

Dir En Grey - Dum Spiro Spero

Dir En Grey used to be a girly, visual kei alternative rock band. More recently they have become rather heavy and very progressive. This is their latest and greatest and demands serious attention. Not only is it fucking loud it’s also beautifully grafted. Vocalist Kyo is an absolute vocal gymnast and switches between angelic melodies to bassy croons to high pitched screaming to throat-destroying death growls. It’s certainly not an easy listen but that doesn’t deny it from being an absolute masterpiece of heavy metal music.

Bastions - Hospital Corners

Bastions are a hardcore band from Wales and they absolutely rip. Their debut album clocks in at around 28 minutes and barely gives you room to breathe. If you like your music hard and passionate (ooh-err) then get your ears around this mother.

Blood Stain Child - Epsilon

Blood Stain Child have been around for a while but have had a rather regular change of musicians in their camp. There are now only 3 members of their original line-up on this record and their recent addition of a female vocalist was worrying me when I first discovered it. I shouldn’t have been. This is still the crazy melodic death metal who dable in trance that I remember. A fantastic album for anyone who likes a bit of genre fusion.

Astrohenge - II

Look at that artwork. Tell me you don’t want to listen to that album. Astrohenge play old school heavy metal but throw in some funky progressive elements as well as classical piano/keyboard to create a rather unique metal monster. They also lack a vocalist which makes them even more captivating as they let their incredibly impressive music do all the talking. 

Wagdug Futuristic Unity - Raw

Wagdug Futuristic Unity used to be a drum ‘n bass/jungle/electronica side project of Kyono from The Mad Capsule Markets. It’s now a fully fledged band of its’ own that make some seriously groove-laden metal with electronic touches. This album features rearrangements of several songs from Wagdug’s earlier electronic efforts, turning them into chunky metal for headbanging bastards like myself.

Funeral For A Friend - Welcome Home Armageddon

Funeral For A Friend are a post hardcore band from Wales that were the next big thing back in 2003. They have unfortunately faded from the mainstream throughout their career but this doesn’t mean they’ve got any worse. Their latest album is a thoroughly exciting rock album with plenty of great hooks and is hands down the strongest record since their 2003 debut.

Korn - The Path of Totality

I have a serious soft spot for this bunch of loonies. Korn are clearly not the most talented musicians but their desire to just be really odd can bottle some serious lightning. This new record which sees them combine their down-tuned nu metal stylings with fucking dubstep (yep, you heard right) works so ungodly well that I still can’t understand how they’ve pulled it off. Also, ‘Get Up!’ is a fucking choon of the highest order.

Skindred - Union Black

Skindred are one of my favourite bands; there is no denying that. They’re a hard rock/reggae/dub crossover band from Wales and they’re ability to mash up such a weird variety of genres successfully makes for some awesome listening. Their latest album is no different and it’s fantastic to see it raise them to greater heights. This band deserves to be massive.

Tesseract - One

I discovered this lot through a friend and was blown away. There is no denying this is a heavy record but the inclusion of the sorely missed Dan Tompkins on vocals made it incredibly approachable. His soaring vocals really create a fantastic contrast of beauty and power. Hopefully Elliott Coleman (the new guy) can keep this marriage up on the inevitable next record.

I totally bought one of these simply because the concept is so utterly mental; a 2 track demo on a floppy disk. One song is 11 seconds long and the other is 15. I love Pariso just because they’re so brilliantly odd. Also heavy.

parisoband:

These sold out in 30 minutes. Cheers to Neil for the repress for people supporting him and our band.

bacchusandbridges:

parisoband:

Did you miss out on our floppy disc release?

A second pressing has been made, this time on BLUE floppy discs (first pressing was on black). 15 copies made.

GO! CLICK HERE! £2.50 inc P&P!

Bought. I’m a sucker for odd formats on limited numbers.

So first pressing was black and /50 ei? Glad I missed it then, Blue is cooler and so is /15.

The Commodore Amiga is a wonderful piece of 16 bit computing that birthed some of my favourite games and childhood memories. But the thing I’ll always remember fondly about that hulking, beige bastard was the sound of the disc drive as it did its’ thing.

You know in movies when the characters are using computers and whatever they do makes a series of bleeps and bloops and computery sounding junk that never actually happens on real computers? I’m pretty sure they’re just trying to replicate the brilliantly ghutteral shtick the Amiga pulled off. You know it makes sense.

RIP Amiga; a computer has never made such a satisfying noise since you left us.

I’m pretty sure everyone has a bizarre smell they like but don’t understand why. Petrol seems to be a pretty common one along with solvents (the same thing?). By the way, I do not go out of my way to sniff solvents. I just like the pong you get when taking the lid off a permanet marker, you know?

But the one I recently discovered (which has become a pretty strange addiction) is my own ear-wax. Explanation? Okay then:

I listen to music a lot. Like all the time. Or at least whenever I can. So I get a pretty heavy build up of the old ear gunk. As you can imagine, I do end up with my finger in my ear from time-to-time, trying to get rid of any excess gear. Now I don’t know what gave me the idea to then get a nice whiff of the recently waxed finger, but whatever tempted me was a bloody good move as far as I’m concerned.

Yeah whatever, judge me all you want; you’re fucking doing it now.

Women are obsessed with their image. It doesn’t matter that they know their route to work or wherever the fuck they’re going; their image means more. That’s why you see 18 year old girls in mini-skirts and little tops with their mid-rift showing, queueing in the freezing cold just so they can get into a club, spend ridiculous amounts of money on terrible alcopops and dance to electronic uhn-tiss uhn-tiss shite.

So I take great pleasure watching women in heels run for public transport. They make that journey everyday, but because they need to be acknowledged as attractive they put massive high-heels on which only aggravate the situation when their train is just about to leave the platform. Watch them go as they do the stupid little constipated fast shuffle towards the train! It looks like they’ve shat themselves!